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12/28/2006 My Clumsy Life Part 1Well thats enough boring life stuff for one morning i think so lets change the pace a little i once did a blog entry in here about how clumsy i was and i was talkin to a freind of mine the other day and im not joking i was still talkin about things an hour later im really that bad so for those who read the origonal entry and 4 any new comers im gonna do it again over the next few days so there will be some new and old things in here hope you all find much humour in my misfortune cos at the end of the day i do i blame it on my big ass size 14 feet like everyone else just says im just clumsy lol well here goes :-
I think my earliest memory and this is b4 i had size 14 feet i might add was when i was about 8 or 9 i used to have a toy evil knevil(not sure how u spell that lol but for those who dont no he was a motorcycle daredevil) well i was playing with the bike and i threw it up a tree now i cant remember why i did that i just did so being a very energetic kid at that age i decided id climb the tree and get it back so up i go getting halfway up i stopped and realised i cudnt go any higher so i tried to break a branch off and poke it out well thats what i shud have done but no i decided id jump instead up i went down i came missing the branch i was on and falling the rest of the way to the floor yes most kids have done that and its nothing new but na u see cos im the unlikiest git in the world my pain didnt end there because just about everywhere on the other side that i climbed the tree where nettle patches not little ones huge bushes of the stuff which i promptly fell into and because it was a nice warm day i just had on a pair of shorts and my shoes the itching and pain i suffered from that was awful the tree fall didnt hurt but those damn nettles did for days its probably why im not that clever when it comes to heights these days to be honest lol
My next big disaster was probably a year or so later now i have always been a show off when it comes to acts of strength and i was no different back then there used to be this rock in my freinds garden now i say rock but this thing was bigger than a football it was more a mini boulder than anything so one day me and all me mates were stood around and we decided we would see who cud pick this thing up a few of em tried nothing cudnt even move it so i had a go and i gets it up to my waist my mates were all cheering me on so im think im gonna throw it now show off in the best possible way well i tried and it moved a grand total of one inch backward as it slipped out of my hand and onto my foot think this is the first time i did my impression of a 1950`s B-Movie actress in a horror film yes i cud scream with the best of em and still can and do on a regular basis lol so im screaming my head off crying like ya do at that age and my freinds got my dad and he helped me home by this time and this is only 5 mins later my foot is almost black my toenail is hanging off and im covered in blood now if it was most ppl that would be the end of it but nope not me couple of hours later im laid up on the couch still in a lot of pain and my dad decided to take me to hospital to see if id broken anything so i gets up and smash with my good foot id managed to find a glass that id been drinkin out of and smashed it to peices problem was i was barefoot and because my other foot was hurting id put all my weight on it i cut it to shreds literally blood everywhere my parents thought this was extremely funny as i rolled on the floor screaming for the second time that day see now by the time i was all better i was seriously thinkin i was jinxed lol
Its not so much the pain i can live with that its just that everything i seem to do in life i do in front of a load of ppl so its my pride that hurts the most like a couple of years after that we used to climb on garage roofs next to out local park and jump off em they werent high so wasnt too bad at all really everyone did it that was about my age girls and boys so this one day theres about 15 of us just climbing up and jumping off i tell ya the youth of today dont no what they was missing lol well id done it about 5 times that day and all was going well except on my last jump it prob wunt have been but thats how it ended up i slipped and instead of jumping off i kinda slid down and all i heard was this huge rip and then i fell face first to the floor by now everyone was just looking down at me and laughing there asses off there i was flat on the floor my ass in the air for the world to see because in my haste to get out of the door with my mates id just got out of the bath and chucked some clothes on but no underwear talk about embaressment within a day everybody i new, new about it and everybody else that i didnt no aswell new about it. its no wonder im a hermit these days i tell ya lol
Now your all probably thinkin ye but thats just normal kid stuff but na that was just the beginning i got a whole lot worse as i got older and when i say worse i mean really bad my life as a walkin disaster area was just beginning.
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